"Alright… ready… let's go. Starting my new Garmin Forerunner 920… and my running mix on my iPod shuffle. It's weird my phone is really just for emergencies and photos now. Okay, let's try out this watch! "Sit Athena." Okay, ta da! It says to start. RUN!
…..Ugh, the neighbor's dogs are outside. I better run on the other side of the road so Athena doesn't try to dart over there. Okay, we made it. I wonder what happens to my watch when I stop at the intersection. Ooh, it vibrates and knows I stopped! How cool! And now it vibrates again when I get going again. Ugh. Stupid dog. I need to keep a good pace but I feel like I'm going so slow because I'm afraid she's going to run in front of me. Wouldn't it suck if I fell and broke my leg or something and couldn't do the half marathon and couldn't go to Disneyland?!
….What the…?! Stupid dog just crapped in the middle of the freaking road!!! OMG. Seriously? My Garmin better stop while I pick up dog crap. Ooh, it does! Okay, now what do I do with this bag of poo? Can I drop it in that person's trash can on the street? Is this horrible of me? It's gotta be better than just leaving it in the middle of the road, right? Okay, we're off again.
….How long have I been running? Only 6 minutes?! I'm so out of shape! I swear I've gone at least a mile by now. I hate this. My hip hurts. This dog is driving me nuts. Maybe I should run by myself next time. No, that wouldn't be fair, I got her so she could run with me. Okay, I have to walk. I'm dying. No I can't walk! I haven't even gone a mile yet! Stupid headphones keep feeling like they're yanking out of my ears. Let me see if I can pull them up out of my hoodie. Ugh, now they're hitting me in the face with every step. I need new headphones. I wonder how much new headphones cost. I hate this. What am I doing out here? I need to walk.
….I wonder which way I should go? Two loops around the neighborhood should be about 30 minutes right? I want to avoid that hill. I'm not going to Eagle Landing Park. I wouldn't make it back up. Oh no! There's a little hill coming up… I better walk. Ugh what is wrong with me?! I'm no where near the hill yet! Why do I feel so defeated and give up before I even get there? I can at least run until I GET to the hill. I'm so discouraged. Why am I doing this? Heel stupid dog.
….My left foot feels numb. I think my socks are too thick. I think I need new socks. Maybe I should buy those compression socks. Aaaaahhhh!!! Stupid headphones! Stupid dog! I'm so annoyed! I'm so hot! This base layer is too hot. Today is too nice to wear the warmest base layer. Why did I buy the warmest base layer? This would have been nice on Saturday. Today I'm too hot. Should I take off my hoodie? No, that would take too long and I'd have to take my headphones out of it. Stupid headphones. I really need new sporty headphones. I wonder if the ones that go over your ears work well. Why don't they make wireless headphones that don't use bluetooth? Oh yeah, I need to take a selfie today for my blog. I need to walk. Ooh my watch says I'm done with my first mile. 13 minute pace. Gotta go faster… but I want to walk! I'll walk for a bit.
….Is that guy drinking a beer? Did he really just get out of his car and walk up to his front door drinking a beer? It's like 8am! Who drinks beer at 8am?! Wait… was he driving that car? Did he just pull up? Was he drinking a beer at 8am while driving? Did he take his kids to school while having a beer for breakfast? I sorta want a beer right now. What am I doing? I need to walk. I don't want to do this 3 times a week for the next like… what… 18 weeks?! I hate running…. gotta keep my pace up. I'm so slow. I'm so tired. I really shouldn't have had a margarita last night.
…. What is this song?! This is the most boring song ever. Did I put this in my running mix? This song sucks to run to. It has no beat at all. I need something more motivational right now. Okay I have about 10 minutes left. I guess I can cut this corner and head back to my house. Heel stupid dog. I would run so much faster without this dog. She is freaking me the heck out.
….Stupid headphones. This song is stupid too. Maybe I should just take my headphones off. Oh, there's another dog up there, Athena better not try to pull me over there. Oh there's another runner. I'll try to run really fast so I look really cool and then give him a smile and the "I'm an athlete too" nod. "Good morning!" Okay, 2 miles down. Almost back home. This watch is awesome. I'm so hot. I hate my headphones. I need to take a pic of my watch for my blog. I'll take my phone out and do it while running. *click click click click* There has to be something usable in there.
….Was that a needle on the ground? My neighborhood isn't THAT ghetto is it? I mean, there was that guy drinking a beer, but are there really people who are shooting up heroin on my street? Should I go back and look and make sure that's what it was? Should I report it to the police? Maybe someone dropped an insulin needle. That must be it. There was that time my teacher at Emerson left her insulin needles in the bathroom when she got all loopy. People with diabetes get loopy. Someone probably dropped their needle. I'm glad I don't have diabetes. I'm glad I run. I hate running. OH THANK GOODNESS 30 minutes! I'm done… and I timed it perfectly… right back in my driveway. I really don't want to do that again on Thursday. Why am I doing this?!"
