"You know how I'm always telling you how awesome you are? Well, I'm going to tell you again. I can't remember where you started at weight and fitness wise (maybe a good blog post), but I know where you're at now. And I have a case of fat girl syndrome in that I think, "I'll never get to THAT!" But you did. And you're a real person with the same struggles. And you've done it. I walked for 35 minutes today at 3.0. I have been feeling wicked dead, low energy, fat, etc, so there was no motivation to run, but it was about the amount of time spent on cardio today. And then I got on a stationary bike. 12 mph, like 4 in resistance or something stupid. After a mile I thought, "Kim did 204!" Then I logged into myfitnesspal and saw what you've been up to, and you RAN 8 fucking miles! I didn't compute what that would take time/calorie wise, and thought holy shit! 45 minutes of cardio is good. More than I did yesterday or all week combined… or for months. But I can do so much more. Because of YOU. That's all. Probably makes no sense but it does in my head. I feel like you're inspiring "fat" girls everywhere!"
Aww! :) So I decided to take her advice, think back about where I started, and blog about it. Here's a little backstory about my weight loss journey:
I started out trying an AdvoCare Spark, which made me feel amazing. And then went on to doing the 24 Day Challenge, and also the Couch to 5K on a treadmill. That's also about the time I met VK Sista' at a gym I used to belong to. I started a Biggest Loser challenge there and started working really, really hard at losing weight. I moved to MA at about the 30 lbs lost mark. At 53 lbs I got stuck. I plateaued at 200 lbs and could not get into "one-derland". I started hanging out with MA BFF and she introduced me to awesome restaurants in the Boston area, and I gained about 10 lbs back, and hung out there for quite a while. Then I got pregnant. The scale went up another 10 lbs, and then I had gallstones. It was a really crazy pregnancy. I spent a few days in the ER having a procedure called an ERCP done, and then I was told I was too far along in my pregnancy to have my gallbladder removed. I was limited to 10g of fat per day. I lost 20 lbs during my pregnancy so after I had my daughter, I was right back at that plateau mark that I could never get past at 200 lbs.
I have a lot of people tell me, "Well, your gallbladder is what taught you to eat healthy." Like it was this big magic weight loss spell or something. Yeah it helped me not gain during my pregnancy, but a lot of people don't gain a ton of weight during pregnancy if they're careful. Even my WA BFF lost weight during both of her pregnancies. It DID help that I learned to cook a lot more when I didn't really have the option of eating out. But I worked my ass off for the 50 lbs I already lost. I had to get off my fat lazy ass, stop eating fish and chips, and get to the gym.
After I had my daughter, I had my gallbladder removed. I eat a lot more fat than I used to, but I figured, why add it all back in? It's not good for anyone. I haven't had fried food (with the exception of an occasional Red Robin french fry) in 3 years. I moved back to WA and started cycling last year. I started the Couch to 5K plan again, signed up for the STP... and also a bunch of fun 5Ks with my WA BFF, and I joined a new gym with VK Sista'. I gave up a lot of things I used to do so I could exercise. When I talked my husband into jumping on board with me with the cycling endeavor, we gave up a lot of our lifestyle to have the time to stay active. We gave up lazy TV time, we go to bed a lot earlier, and yes, we even gave up some weekend time with our kids. I think in the long run, it's better for our family. My kids are more active as a result. We don't eat out as much as we used to, and we do active things as a family.
I lost another 30 lbs by more hard work and dedication. Not magic. I started by cycling 10 miles in the rain not knowing how to shift, until I could do 204 miles in one day. I never, ever finished the Couch to 5K program. I couldn't run a whole mile non-stop, let alone a whole 5K. I started by running 1 mile on my treadmill, and now I can run 8 outside. Somehow something just clicked in my brain. I complain, but I do it anyway. I still struggle every day, I go up and down a few lbs here and there, which is what this blog is all about. I still like chocolate and I drink way too much coffee and wine. But being fit and healthy is more important than anything else. I can't believe how far I've come. I can't remember the person I was when I started. I started out heavier than both my BFFs and I left them in my big fat dust. I just learned along the way, one very tiny step at a time. I started, and I'm not finished. I'm not even close to finishing. This will always be a process. If I can come as far as I have, anyone can.
My blog isn't about magic, but I think there's a little bit of magic inside us that gets us going, and keeps us going. Training and struggling gets us further. I want to show others that I'm a completely normal fat girl who used to be so much fatter, and if I can do it, so can you. Not that I'm so freaking awesome, there's no way you'll ever catch up! I just want all of my friends to be happy and healthy. And I'm so touched that I'm inspiring MA BFF to do more.
That brings me to my thoughts today:
I was willing to spend thousands of dollars to bring my family down to the most magical place of all...Disneyland to do the Tinkerbell Half Marathon with WA BFF. Not because I want to do it, but because she wants to, and I believe in her. But she doesn't believe in herself, and now she's spent the past 8 weeks of training full of excuses and being lazy (her words) and (literally) dragging her feet. I've told her again and again, that it doesn't matter how fast she does it as long as she actually puts in the miles. I will do it at her pace. She isn't competing against anyone but herself (and the fail bus). I wish I could make her brain click like mine did. I just don't know how it happened.
There's a half marathon I can do here for a lot less money, so I'm really considering not going to Disneyland. There's also a trip I want to take with another one of my BFF's to Mexico in June for her birthday that's a whole lot cheaper. AND I want to make sure I can afford my marathon in Hawaii too. It's possible Disney just isn't meant to be. It's a little like gambling though. I just don't know if she's going to kick it into gear or not. Do I risk not booking my trip? I really need her to just start running.. one little mile at a time so I feel like going all the way to Disneyland is worth it. I really don't know what to do. Why can't I inspire EVERYONE?
